Retro Relapse

 Retro fashion is a term often used to describe historic clothing, which was once fashionable at least twenty or more years ago.

Making my way towards Portobello Market, I stumbled across a few “retro” shops. On the door, a sign was tacked onto the glass pane reading ‘all items one pound’, so in the vain hope of seeking a bargain, I pushed the door open with delight and scurried in. Unfortunately, the window display was one big, fat LIE. That display exhibited the only remotely fashionable items in the shop; I was appalled.

The word “retro” was completely inadequate. Looking through the rails of clothing in this dingy shop, I pondered the question as to WHY ON EARTH WOULD ANYONE NAME PRIMARK CLOTHING RETRO?! Anyway, the ‘S-Club 7 Rocks’ t-shirt was the climax of my day.

The ‘shoe room’ was absolutely FANTASTIC. I even recognized a pair of Velcro shoes, which I had once worn to school. Not that the strap across the ankle being broken matters at all, I mean who DOESN’T want half broken shoes for a shiny, gold pound?!

The highlight of my visit was probably the glass cases near the door containing the most “precious” items in the shop. I mean rainbow sandals from Office are obviously the HEIGHT of retro.

So what possessed the owner to name a shop, selling items which were probably made in the last two to three years, retro?!

The shop itself was more similar to those which sell items for charity. Oh and the damp shirt lingering among the jumpers made me jump with lust and passion.